Magnesium-J. Hydrogen-F. Father.
I am ready to re-join my brethren on Alphabetrium.
Very well. Your exile ends today.
Welcome home, Water-T.
-The Numbericons! They’re attacking. -Battle stations!
Divide and conquer! Zero survivors!
Father!
Son, take this thing.
It’s a prophecy or some shit. I’m dying. Peace.
Water-T, where are you going? There’s too many of them.
Then I better crunch the numbers.
When your heart adds up!
One plus one makes you!
Alright!
He’s too dope! Retreat!
Oh yeah! We don’t care about numbers!
Shit! He’s crunching the numbers!
I thought he was talking about taxes, but he’s crunching us!
I’m deduct your ass.
They activated the bracket shields! We can’t pull up!
Somebody kiss me! I don’t wanna die not knowing love!
Oh yeah!
We don’t care about numbers!
Sorry I’m late. I had to go Pe.
What do you know about this?
The "i" of Harmony? It holds some secret power,
but it’s in a language nobody can read.
You don’t gotta read shit, Lithium P. It’s math.
Careful, T. They won’t like that kind of number talk at the palace.
We’re not going to the palace, we’re going to Earth.
Why? You know a math expert there?
Unfortunately, I do.
In conclusion, without math, planes wouldn’t fly
and elephants would forget. What is that sound?
Who is using air buds to listen to rap music?
Sorry, Mister Goldenfold.
Detention! Class dismissed early so Morty can have instant detention!
-No! I want to learn! -I want to add and stuff.
Geez, Mr. Goldenfold! It’s just a little hip hop,
it helps me concentrate
Rap will never help anyone do anything!
Some things never change.
-Ice-T? -Ice-T?
Ice-T, it’s me, Morty! Remember me? Get Schwifty?
No.
And it’s Water-T now.
I don’t give an ass if you’re Smokey Robinson.
You got the balls of a clown coming back to this school
without the homework you owe me!
Fuck your homework, old man! My planet’s at stake!
Mr. Goldenfold, you taught Ice-T math?
I tried, Morty. I sure the hell tried.
Without math, Russia would control all Rubik's Cubes.
-Any questions? -Just one.
Who gives a fuck!
I am a knight, walking, back of class talking,
homework scoffing, blackboard chalking.
Look man, I ain’t here for memory lane shit,
I need this deciphered.
Early Algebraic. Possibly even geometric.
-English! -I don’t teach english, bitch!
And why should I do your homework? You didn’t do mine!
Cuz I had no home!
Now I do.
Help me save it.
All Type Strikers, attack! Kill the Son of Magma-Q!
I want his serifs.
You’re coming with me, Goldenfold.
You better be taking me to your homework.
-You’re coming with me, Morty! -Why?
It’s called detention, not releastion!
-Sorry I’m late, I had to go pe. -I know.
Well, there’s new people. I thought they’d like to hear about it.
Just start the fucking ship.
I see the tales of your dopeness have been greatly exaggerated.
Big talk from an upside down L.
I am Sinistar Seven! And I am here to spill the T.
Then come get me, mother fucker.
She’s got a Caps Lock!
And an ass to suck. Hit the hyphen drive!
No! No!
Speak.
Lord Dread Nought, Water-T escaped with the i of Harmony.
It’s the one of harmony!
That’s gotta hurt.
You’re a number, act like it. Subtract Water-T from life,
and carry the One to me.
I won’t let you down, Father.
Too late.
Too late! God! I love my job!
The Pythagorean Theorem. I just have to figure out
what A and B are, square them both and then add them together.
Can you do it?
-If I do, I want my homework. -Fine!
Why do you guys hate each other so much?
Why do all teachers hate all students, Morty?
Because you all break our god damn hearts.
Just seems like there’s more going on there.
Was he that bad at math?
No, Morty, nobody is worse than you. The hurtful thing about
your friend back there is that at one point
it seemed like he might learn.
I am a nightmare walking, psychopath talking,
king of my jungle just a gangster stalk stalking. Stalking. Fuck.
Look all this non-scholastic depravity!
Reef-er? Chee-tos? And not a smidgen of homework in sight.
Why you coming in here fucking up my words?
T, maybe you oughta go back to school.
You can’t keep a beat to save your ass.
Damn. My dream just died.
Here. Follow this! It’s called four four time.
1, 2, 3, 4.
-2, 2, 3, 4. -I am a nightmare walking
Psychopath talking, king of my jungle just a gangster stalking
-Living life like a firecracker -Chuck! It’s Marvin!
Your cousin Marvin D? Ya know that new sound you looking for?
Well, listen to this!
The gangs of L.A. will never die.
Got ya again, mother-fucker!
You’d think that guy’s cousin would stop taking his calls.
That’s not the point, Morty!
You included it in your story! But I get it.
You and T were actually friends. So, what went wrong?
Nice try, Morty. You think that if I connect with you
I’ll let you out of detention? Well, you can forget it.
I’m all about boundaries now.
Boundaries! I got it!
-What is it? -It’s a map!
A squared is the length of the galaxy. B squared is the height.
So C squared takes you directly to.
Planet E-10?
Ain’t E-10 supposed to be where God created letters or some shit?
That’s just a story we tell lowercase letters at bed time.
Maybe there’s more to it.
-Why bed time? -What?
He said it was a story you told lowercase letters at bed time,
you never tell the story during the day?
I guess I just hoped the phrase "bed time" would make it easier
to understand that lowercase letters are our version of children.
So you did that for me?
Well, half the people here are human, I didn’t want to exclude you.
We would have figured out it was children.
Lowercase means smaller, we get it.
It feels like I’m being punished for clarity.
-Punished? Jesus. I asked a question. -So did Hitler!
What the fuck is going on? Somebody set up a call or some shit.
We need to send word to Alphabetrium.
Oxygen-S, we’ve deciphered the i of Harmony and we’re headed to E-10.
That’s incredible, Water-T.
Give me your coordinates, I’ll send help immediately.
-Word. -Happy to serve, my lord.
In quotes!
Secret villain!
Coming out of Helvetica Light Speed, and approaching Planet E-10.
-God damn. -Maybe it knows it’s home.
What the math is happening?
Die, Letter scum!
I’m sick and tired of this bullshit. Yo Seven, count this!
Three-zus Christ!
-Typical letter, acting on emotion! -You’re welcome
-for saving your numbery-ass, ass! -I won’t let you take me alive!
Have it your way!
If you’re gonna act like ignorant children,
I guess the teacher’s in charge!
And young lady, whoever told you numbers can’t be emotional
did you wrong. On Earth, numbers get down.
-Sometimes even with letters. -Disgusting!
See that’s what everyone says, but then they go home
and they type all kinds of shit into Pornhub.
We’re surrounded by primitive googas!
Okay! The primitive googas worship the glowing thing!
Things don’t always resolve this fast, we’re making good time.
Scribble! Jot jot! Scribble! Doodle!
We can’t understand you.
Obviously, they want to take us to their village for an Ewok party.
Damn, making really good time.
This tribe claims the artifact comes from a religious site
not far from here.
Awful nice of you to help.
I’m simply following the rules of war as your prisoner.
Or maybe you’re hoping if you’re nice,
I’ll let my guard down so you can take the i.
How dare you. I’m not a seductress, I am a warrior.
-And that’s not an i, it’s a one. -It’s an i!
You guys don’t get out much?
It seems kinda obvious that these Scribbles are, like,
the original species that letters and numbers came from.
So that relic thing probably isn’t a one or an i
it’s probably just, like, a line. It’s symbolic of the fact
that your people don’t need to be at war.
-How do I know you again? -Get Schwifty?
Still nothing. So mind your damn business.
At least we agree on that.
Looks like your detention is officially over.
Why?
You finally learned how hard it is to teach.
No I didn’t.
Then you learned how hard it is to learn.
-I already knew... -Just go to bed, you ungrateful shit!
-Cock a doodle! -Cock a doodle two!
The i, it’s gone!
That bitch! Seven took the i!
C’mon, Mr. Goldenfold!
Count me out, Morty. I’m tired of helping that sonofabitch.
Seriously? Feels like there’sa deeper beef
than missing homework here. What really happened?
It was the summer of 1991...
Any friend of Ice-T is welcome in my home.
And as governor, I can’t wait to add that math
wing to Harry Herpson High School, Mr. Goldenfold.
And I shall put it to good use, sir!
Of course you will, more baby potatoes?
God damn, I love rap.
And the Grammy award for Rap Artist of the Year goes to...
Ice-T!
I just want to thank my words, the letters that made them
and that’s it. Nothing else. Peace!
I thought you said he’d thank math!
There must be some mistake, try a different channel?
The mistake was believing you even knew Ice-T
and could get me that math-loving youth vote!
Now get outta here! I’ve got a god damn presidential campaign to start.
After that, my dreams faded away like so many erections.
I mean, that sucks but let’s stop Sinistar-7
and maybe you two sort this out on the way home?
Pretty sound logic. And logic IS a part of math.
Whatever c’mon!
If you’re pregnant, that’s my cell number.
I know you can’t read it, but it’s important I made an effort.
-Nice try! -How dare you!
How dare you!
Shit! I think when we started getting it on
that amulet showed us the truth of our origins.
-Father! -We’re into the same sick shit.
No, my father! He’s here!
-What’s that? -Emperor Dread Nought.
The fate of the Alphabetrians is at hand.
Magma-Q’s legacy ends here.
How the fuck did he find us?
Betrayal reveal!
You appear displeased to see me, Prince Water-T.
Cold-ass mother-fucker, you in league with Dread Nought?
How could you do us Letters dirty like that, S?
My true name is not S, on Numbericonia they call me...
Eight.
Eight? Oh my god, he’s a number? Did you know? I didn’t!
Holy shit! I’m not even supposed to be here today it’s my day off!
For real, that’s how much I like working with these people!
Good thing your father isn’t alive to see you fail,
he’d be so disappointed.
Motherfucker! I’m gonna shoot you in the dick.
I would like to see you try. Villain exit!
Thanks for dragging me across the universe to be killed, Water-T.
No homework-doing, mother-grabbin.
You wanna go old man? I’ll fuck you stil you love me!
I’ll put your kids through college! I’ll fucking take you to Boca Raton
you motherfucker!
Ease up, Water-T. After all, you did betray Goldenfold by,
not thanking math at the Grammys. I guess.
That’s what you think happened? G-Folds. It went like this.
Didja listen to my album, Pop? It’s nominated for a Grammy.
Yes. I heard your album. What is this four-four time, rhythm nonsense?
It’s disgusting! You’re a number-loving traitor
who doesn’t care about anything but himself.
I never knew.
You never asked!
Here, Father.
The destiny of the Numbericons is mine to claim!
Everyone has to watch while I do it, too!
How does this thing work again?
Allow me, my lord.
Hold up. You’re just going to let this motherfucker come up and...
I don’t get it.
The ultimate power of the universe is finally mine!
I am the ruler of the Numbericons!
The dead rule nothing!
Father! No!
Your father was a bitch. You shall be my general now!
Well, he was a bad father...
I am Infinity, omnipotent God of Numbers!
And I have a world of Letters to destroy!
I guess he doesn’t need the ship anymore?
You heard Infinity. Move out!
We coulda had something.
It was a mistake, T. Letters and Numbers can never be.
What do we do? He’s gonna destroy Alphabetrium!
Whatever. I don’t care anymore.
-Damn, T. That’s cold. -Exactly.
-God damn! -You do remember our adventure.
Not really.
Dope shit, T!
If we don’t stop Infinity, he’s gonna destroy Alphabetrium!
But that ooze-swamp put the kibosh on our spaceships.
Maybe we can pull it out and upgrade it using parts of the numbers ship...
The googas already did it. You guys work fast.
Damn. It’s like the Glyph Jumper, but extreme.
Big fun now! Ship fast.
The Glyph Jumper Extreme is rad!
Let’s go home and bust a cap in Infinity’s ass.
Wait! Let me go pee first, that way when we get there,
I’ll get to say.
well, I’m not gonna spoil it!
Death to all Letters! Neither upper nor lower case
will survive this day!
The Brackets Shield has fallen! It’s an utter apostrophe!
I am bigger than letters! I am bigger than numbers!
My balls are huge and everyone can suck my dick!
Stop! You’re killing numbers!
My lord, this is too far.
Are you still fucking talking?
Here’s a number for you lady, 86 that ass!
You’re fired!
Suck this, bitch!
T, is that your girl?
That’s twice I’ve saved your ass.
Infinity’s gone mad with power. He’s killing everyone.
And every two,
-and every three and every... -We get it.
I was wrong to join him. And wrong to leave you, Water T.
Infinity killed both our fathers.
I was there. The ceiling fell on him.
Father!
That ceiling was poisoned.
Oxygen-S planned Magma-Q’s assassination for months.
All my life I’ve served such negative numbers.
This kid I don’t know was right all along.
Finally!
It’s time for the Numbericons to rise and join us!
How can we make the Numbericons rise up against him?
We’ll inspire them.
Kill! Murder! Death!
Why does a 1 hate an "i", i gotta wonder?
When a lower case i is an imaginary number.
Who stands to gain when i shoot up a digit?
The division is complex, but you know we gotta bridge it.
You think you can stop me with rap?
More homicides than a dodecahedron
Number vs letters the shit that it feeds on
Today, alpha-numerically combine Like g-l-o-c-k means
-My ice cold ‘9!
I got letters and numbers every time i fuck a hole
giving her 1 big dick while she screams "o"!
Magma-Q gets’em wet like she got her cry on
My dick’s 3.14 feet it’s a Pi-thon Ya’ll actin’ scared. He ain’t won yet
Infinity to one odds? That’s an alpha-bet.
Father? You like a force ghost now?
The fuck it look like, son? I came back to help
you hand Infinity his ass. You ready?
Let’s kill it, Pops.
Infinity ain’t shit without numbers and letters.
We can blow his ass out if we work together.
Rise up! Letters and numbers
I said rise up! Cuz you know we’re all brothers!
Arise, King Magma-T.
My word! Water-T’s spitting straight fire!
He truly is King of Alphabetrium.
Infinity’s too strong! Nothing can defeat him!
You think? How bout this shit.
The I of Harmony!
-Motherfuckers just left it. -How will that help us?
This thing loves when letters and numbers get down.
C’mere girl
You like that?
Hell yeah!
You cannot stop me! I’m infinitely infinite!
My fucking dick!
Thought I was lying, mother-fucker?
Mr. Goldenfold, I love math!
And it loves you too, Morty.
I have to warn you, I’m a prime number.
I’m only divisible by myself.
And my dick’s magma now. But we’ll figure it out.
How’s that math homework coming along, Morty?
It’s great, it’s so great. Do you mind if I do a second test,
-you know, for fun? -You’re weird.
And what about you, sir?
There! All done!
Here’s your god damn homework, old man. Happy?
More than you can possibly imagine.
King Magma-T, my people need you.
And who are you?
Ice Cube of the Geomitrons.
My planet getting all bent out of shape by the Formivores.
You Numbers and Letters strong enough to fight them muthafuckers?
The warriors of Alpha-Numbericon are unmatched in strength.
And we never refuse to help a brother in need.
Word! My smokeshow queen speaks truth.
I’ll grab my shit and meet you out front.
Cool.